What’s in a name? Would a hoppy refreshing brew by any other name still taste as sweet?

What about the guy or gal drinking it?

I ask because there are quite a few lovers of the brew out there who have chosen to call themselves something other than “connoisseur.” Two of the more common monikers I hear being tossed about most often are “beer geek” and “beer snob.”

Now you’re probably thinking to yourself, “Geek, snob, connoisseur. Whatever. It’s all the same.” Before assuming the label of connoisseur myself, I might have had the same reaction. But after some intense research (read: checking the dictionary) and careful observation of these creatures in their natural habitat, I’ve realized that there are some very notable differences.

Observe.

compliments of coderkind

Species: The Beer Geek or Beer Nerd

Definition: geek : a person often of an intellectual bent who is disliked
nerd : an unstylish, unattractive, or socially inept person, especially one slavishly devoted to intellectual or academic pursuits

Observable Behaviors:

In a crowded room of beer drinkers, the Beer Geek or Nerd will usually be seen talking to only one other person – most likely the bartender or another Beer Geek or Nerd, as many of the other people in the room would not be able to understand the language spoken by the Beer Geek or Nerd. If not engaged in social activity, the Beer Geek or Nerd will likely be found in a corner of the room furiously scribbling notes about the beer he is currently drinking. The Beer Geek or Nerd may have one or more iPhone apps that helps him accomplish this note-taking task. It is quite possible that the Beer Geek or Nerd designed the app himself. The Beer Geek or Nerd will most likely be dressed in T-shirt and jeans. Often the T-shirt worn by the Beer Geek or Nerd will express his love for beer in an ironic, amusing and highly intelligent manner.


compliments of harry525

Species: The Beer Snob

Definition: a: one who tends to rebuff, avoid, or ignore those regarded as inferior; b: one who has an offensive air of superiority in matters of knowledge or taste

 Observable Behaviors:
Often identified by her wrinkled-up nose or scowling face, the call of the Beer Snob is very distinctive. It usually sounds like the phrase, “this tastes like piss,” or, “this doesn’t even compare to the (insert unrecognizable beer style here) that I had during my trip to Europe.”  In a crowded room of beer drinkers, the Beer Snob will flit from one person to another with the intent of educating every individual on how awful their taste in beer is. If the Beer Snob encounters someone who happens to share her taste in beer, she will resort to demeaning the individual for either: paying too much or too little for their beer, for serving their beer in the wrong glass or at the wrong temperature, for pairing their beer with the wrong foods, or for never having attended a beer tasting or festival in Europe.

compliments of paintnothing

Species: The Beer Connoisseur

Definition: from the Latin cognoscere (‘to know’); one who enjoys with discrimination and appreciation of subtleties

Observable Behaviors:
The beer connoisseur is a rather unassuming breed. In fact you may not be able to identify the connoisseur at first glance. In a crowded room of beer drinkers, the Beer Connoisseur will likely be identified by excessive use of the word ”try”. As in, “What? You’ve never had (insert beer here)? Here, try mine,” or, “Nope, haven’t had that one yet, but I’ve been meaning to try it”. The Beer Connoisseur is most often surrounded by beer drinkers of varying preferences and lifestyles and may be observed jotting down information shared with and by other beer drinkers. The Beer Connoisseur is most easily characterized by a certain twinkle in her eye that is partially due to the effect of the brew she’s drinking and partially due to the thrill of finding new ways to enjoy beer.

******

If you’re a newbie connoisseur like me, you might feel like there’s a lot of pressure living up to the title (aside from simply remembering how to spell the dang word). But as I’ve discovered, being a connoisseur doesn’t mean you have to be condescending or turn up your nose at those who drink Budweiser or PBR. Nor does it mean that you have to be able to break down the chemical compounds of your favorite brew or recite the genealogy of its yeast strain.
As a good friend of mine once said, unlike being a beer geek or a beer snob, being a connoisseur “isn’t rocket science.”

So relax, pick up a cold one, imbibe and exhale with the satisfaction of knowing that you’re part of a special breed.

Simply because you know better.

Cheers,

Kisha Solomon